Monday, April 14, 2014

And So-Goodnight…(The Mental Breakdown That Began This Blog)

You would not be wrong to say that Isra and I cannot make a decision to save our lives.

(Seriously, if a song comes up on my iTunes and I don't want to listen to it, it's practically finished by the time a pick another to put on.)
One of my favourites...
When one of us wants to do something, it's a miracle if the other person will actually want to do it at the same time. So, as you can imagine, when it was time to name this "blog", we couldn't pick a single name. We had pages full of different names. Most of them were lame. Others were heartfelt, yet anyone else would think they were lame. Most of them came from different books and quotes.

I adore Anne of Green Gables because I adore PEI. My favourite character would probably be Walter, Anne's son. The most beautiful, poetic, innocent and just deep person I know. I know him. I love him. He's an image of idealism and someone who just loves beauty. At the conclusion of the series, Walter dies a death on battered, blood-stained battlefield in France. That broke my heart. He leaves a letter for his sister, affectionately named Rilla-my-Rilla (say it out loud, it sounds lovely). I've read this letter more than a dozen times. Yet as I read it, looking for inspiration in a title, I started to cry.

He's amazing... 

I'm talking about the kind of tears that shake your body and make your eyes sore. Isra was sitting next to me. As I read, she told me to stop crying and took it from and then she started reading. Low and behold, she started sobbing too. We both sat there and read Walter Blythe's last words out loud. And cried.

I'm still not sure why we cried so hard.

Maybe it was the way someone so filled with beauty could die that way. Or because he's not real. Or that he thinks life is harder than death. Because it's not just a book. It's a story. And stories are what make us who we are. Without them, we're not human.

I've had those moments more times than I count. The absolutely paralyzing ideas that come into your mind. That make you question everything. That make you feel overwhelmed with guilt or sadness. And you have absolutely no idea why.

Then we realized that L.M Montgomery was really depressed. And naming a blog after something that made us cry so much wasn't a good idea.

So there it is. My emotional-for-no-reason teenager moment of the day. It felt good. And bad. Yay!


P.S. The playoffs start on Wednesday. Excited and very nervous!

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